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Easter weekend 2003, saw me arrive at a place of religious spiritual retreat in North Wales.
The Call, had been powerful and I had followed my heart, to what had initially seemed the most daunting and unpromising choice for me; a woman of no religious background, certainly non-Christian, definitely non catholic.
My spiritual journey had barely begun, yet already I had been given some incredible gifts and insights. I had undertaken everything with openness and as much honour as possible, but now I had a question, and I hoped for some kind of answer.
I arrived at the retreat house early on the Saturday morning, complete with my tools of canvas’s, paints and brushes, intending to undertake some painting during my stay.
The guest apartment was very simple, humble, and the main room opened out onto a small walled garden full of spring flowers and sunshine. The day was bright and soft.
I moved the dining table out into the garden, and there I began work on a large painting, probably about 40” x 60” and a series of small canvas’s of 5” x 7”. The work absorbed me totally and I was truly lost in the process of creation, losing sense of time and place, I worked through the morning and into the afternoon.
Eventually, I had to pause, my palette was congested with paint and I needed a cup of coffee. I turned back into the apartment, intending to go through to the kitchen, but I was stopped in my tracks, entranced by a tiny pattern of golden light dancing in the top left corner of the room. My curiosity demanded I find out where this beautiful light pattern emanated from, but I could not work it out. I just stood there, captivated by it.
As I looked, it appeared to grow, to open out rather like a fan, or a wing, it was very tangible and pulsating with light. As I looked at it, another pattern of light appeared directly opposite the first, and now it looked like two wings had unfurled right in front of me. Then a head and a body manifested, and before me was an angel written in light. Absolutely.
Of course, I was astounded. Even though I was now regularly painting angels, this was beyond my experience or comprehension. The experience was extremely beautiful and graceful, in no way “spooky” or scary, it had unfolded so gently and perfectly, from a little patch of nothingness. Had I, at any stage been unwilling to “see”, then I am sure the whole thing would have just faded or disappeared and that would have been that.
The angel was not a static projection, it was very dimensional, constantly moving, changing position and size, sometimes appearing much taller and sometimes quite small, but mostly it held a size similar to my own. I felt it was trying not to make me feel overwhelmed. The energy felt very feminine, and so I will refer to the angel as “she”.
When I had regained myself, I asked the angel my question “What is my relationship to God?”
She replied “God is being”
This was not a sound, but an absolute knowing. It was delivered whole and intact directly into each cell of my body. I vibrated in bliss with the knowing of it.
Then, she reminded me of another message delivered to me just after 9/11 when I had been part of an audience for a TV chat programme. The panel were discussing the part that psychics play in the predicting of such catastrophes. On a personal level, the whole experience had been a disappointing shambles as I had been unable to make any contribution to the discussion. I had returned home on the late train from London wondering “Why?? What was that all about?” I had then been guided to write a channelled message, which ended with the words “Being is enough”
So, now I had “God is being. Being is enough”
I thanked the angel.
She then surprised me further by asking that I take some photographs of her. As it happened, there was an old APS camera in my handbag with a partially used film. I got it out and did as requested, took a series of photos until the film ran out. I have no idea what setting was used, I am not sure there is a “best setting” for photographing angels! The last couple of shots were distinctly different as her light had changed and become a more intense white rather than the soft golden and I guessed she was ready to leave.
After she had gone, I recovered sufficiently to go and clean my palette (an old dinner plate) and to make a much needed coffee! I then returned to the garden and my work on the paintings, which were finished by the end of the afternoon.
Now, I felt guided to go down to the small chapel which was just along the corridor from my rooms. I had no plan as to what I was to do there, I am not a religious woman, and so praying was not really my thing.
As I walked in, a shaft of sunlight seared through the window and hit a pew, directly, and in a way that I could not ignore it. I decided to sit in that place which had been so beautifully highlighted for me. The angel came again; this time I did not see her, but knew she was behind me as she delivered a moment of grace “Ask for what you truly need?”
I heard myself say “Please; let me be sustained in my work”.
As the last syllables left me, a tiny bird flew in through an open window, it landed on the pew in front of me and sang its little heart out. When its song was ended it flew away. It was a wren.
All I could do was say “Thank you”. No embellishments. No prostrations. Just “Thank you”. I then turned to leave that beautiful humble place.
As I left the chapel, I noticed just beside the doorway, a stand of postcards, all created by one of the residents of the retreat, an artist. These postcards and little leaflets were charmingly simple and delightfully illustrated passages from the Christian bible. I picked up a small booklet and opened it at random to a page which read “ God is enough”
So, now I had “God is being. Being is enough. God is enough.”
I realised that to be delivered such a message, in 3 words, 3 sentences and 3 phases was indeed Divine and those words resonated with my heart in that moment and have never left me. It is all I need to know.
My time was done in that place, to stay longer would serve no purpose and it would be rude of me to expect more. I enjoyed a good nights rest in the room where the angel had appeared , with the paintings I had created, and in the morning I was able to take my leave of my hosts with a full heart.
I shared my experience with the Sister who had been charged with my care. She listened quietly, then, offered me a gift of a small artwork created by the artist whose hand had already touch my heart. It was a simple depiction of the Crucifixion, and upon the cross sat a small bird. . . a wren. She told me simply “You are truly blessed.”
I replied “I know that I am”
By the time I had driven back to my home, the local supermarket was still open and I knew it had a one hour film development service. Just an automated system, but I thought it would be worth seeing if I had managed to capture anything of the angel on the film.
I had.
The images were absolutely clear, the sense of them exactly as I remembered the experience. She was clearly moving around the room, and changed her position and stance. The last couple of shots showed the change in the light before she left.
When I showed the images to my husband, he was incredulous, and demanded to know how I had “done” it. I assured him, as I assure you now, there was no intervention or clever camera tricks. I do not have that kind of skill, and anyway the camera was deliberately quite limited to an “idiot proof” operation.
These images are absolutely authentic. Make of them what you will.
There are several factors which must be borne in mind in relation to this account.
Discern for yourself.
. . . and love and love and light and light . . . Alison Knox 28.4.2010 ©